Whatever O'Clock, made to order

21 quotes · pick one, then customize

Every clock here is a stylish 30cm wall clock, printed to order in the United Kingdom on a smooth glass face. Silent, continuous-sweep movement - no ticking, nothing to remind you of the creeping inevitability of your own demise.

Pick one of these, or, if you can summon up the energy, open the customizer to set the background, text colour, frame and hands.

Each clock is £39 with free UK shipping included, and usually arrives within a few working days. Time you were going to spend anyway.

Fuck that

“To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.”
— Bruce Lee
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Funny wall clock: "Fuck that — blue & white"

Fuck you

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”
— Charlotte Brontë
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Funny wall clock: "Fuck you — black & white"

Here we fucking well go again

“What's past is prologue.”
— William Shakespeare
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Funny wall clock: "Here we fucking well go again — deep cyan & white"

Make it stop

“Let me not be mad.”
— William Shakespeare
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Funny wall clock: "Make it stop — pink & white"

None of this matters

“In the long run we are all dead.”
— John Maynard Keynes
Funny wall clock in sage shelf
Funny wall clock: "None of this matters — green & white"

Not today thank you

“Tomorrow is another day.”
— Margaret Mitchell
Funny wall clock in oatmeal pampas
Funny wall clock: "Not today thank you — deep teal & white"

Time is bullshit

“Time is a game played beautifully by children.”
— Heraclitus
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Funny wall clock: "Time is bullshit — deep slate & white"

Whatever

“Whatever is, is right.”
— Alexander Pope
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Funny wall clock: "Whatever — red & white"

Who cares

“The world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel.”
— Horace Walpole
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Funny wall clock: "Who cares — dark violet & white"

You idiot

“The stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.”
— Bertrand Russell
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Funny wall clock: "You idiot — blue & white"

Don't be a dick

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”
— Seneca
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Funny wall clock: "don't be a dick"

Who me

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle.”
— E. E. Cummings
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Funny wall clock: "who me"

It is what it is

“So it goes.”
— Kurt Vonnegut
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Funny wall clock: "it is what it is"

Soon you will be dead

“Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me.”
— Emily Dickinson
Funny wall clock in terracotta pier
Funny wall clock: "soon you will be dead"

Get to fuck

“Get thee to a nunnery.”
— William Shakespeare
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Funny wall clock: "get to fuck"

Do i have to

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”
— Mark Twain
Funny wall clock in plaster corner
Funny wall clock: "do i have to"

Not this again

“Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again.”
— André Gide
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Funny wall clock: "not this again"

Fuck this

“The world is too much with us.”
— William Wordsworth
Funny wall clock in sunlit column
Funny wall clock: "fuck this"

What now

“I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
— Mark Twain
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Funny wall clock: "what now"

Well done

“Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value only to its scarcity.”
— Samuel Johnson
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Funny wall clock: "well done"

No

“I will not serve.”
— James Joyce
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Funny wall clock: "no"